Alone For The First Time
by Moonsetta
Summary: A rant I imagine Leo thinking while in the jungles of Central America. Written in Leo's POV. Just chose Costa Rica because I knew it first. I still have more sympathy for Leo than Raph in the movie.


I don't own TMNT.

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I opened my eyes to the rising sun and stumbled to my feet. My back ached from sleeping on the ground but I've learned it's a lot safer than sleeping in tree. Apparently my balance is off so when I can perfect it I'll be able sleep in a more comfortable bed. Leaves are a lot softer than stone. I stumbled to a small lake and dip my hands in the water. I splash it on my face and find I picked up a lot of insects as well. Just great. My body's so sore and the gash I got on my arm the other day is bleeding again. I'll have to find something else to use as a bandage, I can't risk using my disguise when I'm forced to travel too close to the surrounding villages. How I wish I had Donny's medical know-how, Raph's strength or even Mikey's positive outlook on life.

My brothers…I hope they're doing ok.

I stumble back to my previous sleeping spot and fish inside a knot hole in a nearby tree. I find my journal and start climbing up the tree to sit on one of the highest branches. As I gaze across the treetops at the breath-taking sunrise I lean back into the slightly damp but comfortable leaves. I sigh and open my journal, I had decided to keep a record for as long as I remained here in the jungles of Costa Rica. I don't feel like writing especially when there's no doubt a whole day of hard work ahead of me and possible mad chaos. I open to the first entry and read over it. I hate this, I sounded like a little kid, complaining.

_Day 1:_

_You know? I thought today would be normal. I woke up and headed to the kitchen only to find my sensei blocking my path. He told me he wanted to see me in the dojo after my morning tea. I went to him and he told me I was ready to finish my training and become a ninja master. I was so excited, all my hard work would finally pay off and maybe, just maybe, my little brothers would respect me more. Of course, this so called excitement fell into oblivion when I was told to pack for a year long training period in Costa Rica! He said I needed to go there and train for a year, it would make me stronger and when I returned my training would be complete._

_I wanted to argue but as years have come and gone I bowed and turned to pack my things. I walked out of my room to find him there, saying my plane was leaving in an hour so I better hurry. I was shocked. Wasn't he going to at least let me say goodbye to my brothers? Before I knew it I was in a damp and dark world. _

I snap the book shut with a sigh. I am so disgusted with myself. The world I had first seen as damp and dark was now calming and bright. I have been here two months and yet I still haven't been able to get used to sleeping on stones, the ground, in trees and in caves. I can't stick in one place in the jungle for very long. Hunters always want their chance at hunting the "Ghost of The Jungle". I'm honored the villagers see me as such. I wouldn't be able to do such a thing back home. If anyone here captures me, there's no way they'd trace me back to New York City and be able to hurt my family.

I still remember my first night. Tripping around the dark, going deeper and deeper into the forest until I collapsed and surrendered to sweet unconsciousness. When I woke up I didn't understand why I had to be 2,000 miles away from the home I had grew up in and the family I loved. For 15 years my sensei was there if I was hurt or had a problem. As my brothers and I grew older we relied on each other. I could go to Donny to fix an injury or to get that genius to fix something and he rarely complained. Raph and I were best friends until I was chosen as leader of the team. What's he complaining for? At least he was free to slack off, I was always expected to be in perfect form.

The sun finally breaks away from the horizon and I run a hand absent-mindedly over a rough patch on the tree trunk. What I would give to hear one of Mikey's jokes right now or even see his smile. One year, being alone in the middle of a jungle, living by the skin of my teeth every day and having constant nightmares. I'm sure these things will fade with time but I can't help but wish I had never come. I miss the taste of the food Mikey used to cook every meal, the smell of the green tea my sensei made, the sound of the clicking of a keyboard from Donny's lab and the rhythm of Raph pounding away on his punching bag.

Now I hear birds, insects, rushing water, and small animals prowling out of their homes for their mornings. I climb down from the tree and place the journal back into the knot hole before fishing out my disguise, it's really just a large dusty brown cloak but it helps me blend into the surrounding trees, the grass stains help too. I'm unsure if the bloodstains help but I've washed them the best I can. I throw it on after slipping my katanas onto my back, which I must say is very painful for my spine is still throbbing. It's given me a headache but I can open my eyes still so it's time for training. I stop by a small berry bush and swallow half a hand full. Well, there's my meal for today. I have to make this bush last for a few months if I don't want to travel any deeper into the forest.

I jump into the trees and run across the thin branches, my balance is still a little off but just a few more months it'll be perfected then I won't have to sleep on slabs of stone any longer. I'm not sure if I'm smiling for that or not. I don't say anything anymore because there's really no one to talk to. I fear though I'll somehow lose the ability to speak soon but how can I help that? It's pointless to say anything here. I run to one side of the jungle as the smell of smoke hits my nose. I glance between the leaves of a large tree and see, **_another one._**

Back home in New York City my brothers and I saw gang fights and what I guess you might call massacres. Here though, it's more than massacres, for only genocides happen here. I sigh and turn away as the flames continue burning behind me. Sometimes I'm just too late, it's just one of those times now. Those so called soldiers aren't protecting these people, they're killing them. I'm doing all I can but I'm only one turtle. I take a few calming breaths and travel back into the jungle. I smell blood and stop. I look below the branches I'm standing on and see what the soldiers have left behind.

I close my eyes and shake my head before moving on. Dead bodies lying on the forest floor below stare up with no eyes as I leap away. No, the dead never say anything. I thought I had known loneliness before but now I understand more than ever. This is loneliness, 2,000 miles from home and for the first time in 15 years I'm alone and surviving on my own. There's no place to stop and snatch food, I have to find and work for it here. Finding bushes of berries, fruit growing on trees, fish in ponds and rivers and mushrooms and roots in the ground. I don't have a fishing pole or shovel to help either.

I snap my head as I hear guns firing in the distance and screams. I turn and rush towards the sounds until the ground disappears beneath my feet and I plummet downwards as something cuts into my side. My head hits the bottom of the pit trap and I'm knocked unconscious.

All I can think is…I miss them. How many more days until I can go home?

* * *

This is just some ranting I needed to get out my head before I hit the hay. I was watching some videos on youtube about the CGI movie and I'm shocked at how much sympathy there is for Raph. I admit he has mine as well but come on did anyone ever take a minute to think about how hard it was for Leo?

Now I'd post the rant I typed up but I don't want to anger anyone so I'll just say Leo has gotten more sympathy from me than Raph has.

~Moonsetta


End file.
